Descending Dementia
by Sky Rat
Summary: Tas x Chi. Tasuki and Chichiri get lost in a very deranged forest. No food, and no way out. Will they survive without killing each other? Eventual Shonen-ai. Chapters will get longer, no da.
1. Oh crap, no da

  
  
  
**Disclaimer:** Fushigi Yugi ain't mine. 'nuff said.   
  
This Fic is dedicated to Xellas, for corrupting me into reading (and simulateously getting me addicted to) Tas/Chi fics.   
  
  
  
  
………..**Descending Dementia**…………   
  
_Or; Tasuki and Chichiri Vs. The Spiteful Forest_   
  
  
  
::grumble grumble::   
  
"Goddamn it, can't ya just wave yer hat thingie around, and do that 'poof' thing yer always doin'?"   
  
"No, Tasuki-kun," Chichiri replies patiently, "I already explained to you that I need to know where our current location is in order to teleport, no da."   
  
"But ya know where we are. We're three days inta this here crummy woods." Tasuki whines, "Ain't that good enough?!"   
  
"No, no da." Chichiri says, not _quite_ as patiently as before, "I'm not even sure how we got into this woods. It's not a normal forest, no da."   
  
"How d'ya reckon that?"   
  
"Listen. What do you hear, no da?"   
  
"Uh. Nothin'." Tasuki states cautiously.   
  
"Exactly. No birds." Chichiri explains, "Nothing lives here no da."   
  
"That explains why I'm so friggin' hungry." Grumbles Tasuki.   
  
"I'm hungry too. But there's not much we can do about that right now no da. The stream has no fish in it. And we haven't seen a single animal, no da."   
  
"Can'tcha pull a rabbit outta yer hat 'er somethin'?" Tasuki asks hopefully.   
  
"Afraid not, no da."   
  
"How bout sake? Could ya apparate up some sake fer me?"   
  
"No. I. Can't. 'Apparate'. Up. Some. Sake. Tasuki. Kun. No. Da." Chichiri replies through gritted teeth.   
  
~~ Five minutes of blissful silence~~   
  
"Chichiri?"   
  
"Yes, Tasuki-kun?"   
  
"Are you _sure_ you can't pull a rabbit 'er somethin' outta yer hat? How bout outta yer kesa?"   
  
Chichiri closes his eyes and counts to ten. When he finally manages to repress his newly discovered homicidal urges, he turns around and hands Tasuki a meat bun.   
  
"All right!!!" Tasuki yells with glee, grabbing the meat bun and swallowing it nearly whole. "Yer the best, Chichiri!"   
  
"Hey, wait a minute," Tasuki adds, after thinking a minute, "if ya had food all along, why'd ya wait until now ta say so?"   
  
"Because I didn't, no da." Chichiri states, smugly.   
  
"Whaddaya mean by that?" Tasuki asks, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.   
  
"That was just a stick no da. I merely transformed it so it would _look_ and _taste_ like a meat bun. But it was still just a stick, no da."   
  
Tasuki's reaction to this newly gleaned knowledge is not quite appropriate for print. Use yer imagination, folks.   
  
"Bark is more nutritious then you'd think, Tasuki-kun. High in fiber, no da."   
  
"Shut the fuck up. Sometimes I think ya must getta kick outta watchin' me suffer." Tasuki mutters.   
  
_Hm, I wonder the same thing about you, no da._ Chichiri muses to himself, before saying out loud, "I'm working on finding a way out of here, Tasuki-kun. _Please_ try to be patient, no da."   
  
"PATIENT?!" Tasuki loses it. "Three days ago, I was 'patient'! I just ate a fuckin' _stick_! And yer tellin' me ta be _patient_?!!"   
  
Chichiri tries to stay calm. He really does.   
  
"Three days ago? If 'patient' is another word for 'moderately less irritating,' then yes, I suppose you were 'patient' no da."   
  
Whoops. That just slipped out….   
  
"Fine! I can see it's obviously MY fault we're in this mess, and ya'd be SO much better off without me then!" Tasuki yells. "Go on, I'll just stay here by my irritatin' self!"   
  
Tasuki stomps off several yards and then sits down on a rock with his back to Chichiri.   
  
Chichiri closes his eyes and counts to ten. Then he recites the alphabet backwards….followed by every tranquility meditation he could remember. Ten minutes later, he finally composes himself enough and turns around to apologize to Tasuki.   
  
But Tasuki was gone.   
  
The beech grove that had surrounded his rock had somehow transformed into a stand of hemlock trees.   
  
"Oh crap, no da."   
  
  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
  
  
Um, so how was that for a start? This first chapter is short, because I'm more or less testing the water with it. This is my first FY story, everything else I ever wrote was Weiß Kreuz, so this is very different from what I'm used to writing. Please tell me if there is anything I should do to improve writing either Tasuki or Chichiri (did Chi say 'no da' too many times? Did I write Tasuki's bandit speech okay?) The chapters will hopefully get longer as I adjust to writing these guys.   
  
I know both Tas and Chi were angrier than normal for their characters, but that was only because of how stressful their current condition was. They were only acting like they hated each other because of how tired and hungry they were. Things will get much, much better between them *heh heh*   
  
  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 


	2. yep, aaannny minute now

  
  
  
...Twenty-seven...twenty-eight...Twenty-eight-and-a-half...twenty-nine....   
  
Tasuki was currently counting the scuff marks on the tip of his right boot. It was all he could do to stop himself from turning around and checking on Chichiri.   
What was taking him so long?   
Normally Chichiri would have immediately walked right over and told him that he didn't really mean what he said....That he would never in a million years leave him behind and alone ....   
....especially not in a horribly creepy forest with no food....   
  
....right?   
  
And then he'd give one of those all-too-rare genuine smiles of his (which Tasuki secretly admitted to himself as being his *real* motivation for so many of his childish outbursts) and assure him that everything was gonna work out just fine....   
  
....right?   
  
_Yep, Chichiri's gonna come over an' apologize any minute now...._   
  
...tick tock tick tock...   
  
_Yep! Aaaaaaannnnnny minute now............_   
  
Fifteen minutes, and not a sound from Chichiri.   
  
_Fuck, I didn't really make him *that* angry....did I?   
  
He didn't.....he didn't actually mean all that....   
  
....did he?   
  
Nah....he couldn't have....   
  
He's probably just keepin' quiet ta make me worry....yeah, he's just teachin' me a lesson. That's all....   
  
...but still....   
  
He's never ignored me like this before....   
  
Am I.....am I really *that* irritatin'? _   
  
Tasuki's resolve slowly begins to transform into panic.   
  
_Maybe...maybe he really does want to leave me....   
...maybe he's just been waitin' fer an excuse ta get ridda me...   
an'...an' I just *gave* 'im one! _   
  
"Aw, fuck it." Tasuki mutters to himself. _I guess it won't kill me ta apologize just this once..._   
  
Afraid of what he might see (or not see, so to speak,) Tasuki hesitantly turns around.   
  
"Ch....Chichiri?"   
  
* * * * *   
  
  
Chichiri was still staring very intently at the stand of hemlock trees.   
  
"You're not...supposed...to be there...no..da."   
  
Chichiri did not expect the trees to answer of course, but their silence still seemed to have a malicious mocking quality to it, nonetheless.   
  
He carefully turned around in a circle, surveying the entire area. There was always a small chance that the beech grove was still nearby....   
But only unfamiliar landscape stared back at him.   
  
Chichiri turned back to the hemlocks. He noticed that not only had Tasuki and the beech trees vanished, but the rock he was sitting on as well. Which meant that if he could only find the beech grove again, well, Tasuki would probably still be there.   
  
Chichiri closed his eyes and silently prayed that Tasuki would have the sense to stay put until he could find him.   
  
* * * * *   
  
  
Tasuki _did_ have the sense to stay put....unfortunately, he thought that Chichiri had intentionally left him behind. So he promptly discarded that notion, in favor of searching for Chichiri.   
  
Somewhere in the back of his mind it did register that something about the scenery wasn't quite right...but Tasuki was just too put out over the concept of being ditched by his best friend to really concentrate on that. He barely even noticed that the bright fall foliage of the nearby zelkova tree had been replaced with tiny green buds.....   
  
Tasuki was, in fact, fuming.   
  
"He actually did it! He left! I can't b'lieve he actually _left_!"   
  
A log conveniently appeared in his path, and Tasuki took advantage of the opportunity to give it a good, hard kick.   
  
"Stupid log!"   
  
_Kick_   
  
"Stupid Chichiri."   
  
_KICK_   
  
"Stupid....stupid _me_..."   
  
SMASH.   
  
With the log reduced to a pile of mulch, Tasuki gloomily trudged onwards.   
  
_Okay, so I guess I can be kinda annoyin'. _ Tasuki grudgingly admitted to himself. _But if he just wanted to get ridda me....why didn't he just leave me at Mount Reikkaku ? Ta leave me inna place like *this*....he musta really had it out fer me....   
  
It's not possible that Chichiri actually...*hated* me....is it?_   
  
Tasuki longer felt like walking.   
  
A nearby tree-trunk suddenly began to look extremely inviting, and Tasuki gratefully slumped against it.   
  
With his head buried between his knees, Tasuki didn't even notice when it began to snow.   
  
  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
  
Some reactions to walking around the Baltimore bar district dressed as Chichiri on Halloween:   
  
"Follow me to the dark place, Vader."   
  
"Hey Trojan dragon warrior!"   
  
"That's gangsta."   
  
"I think those are her natural clothes."   
  
"Let me guess what you are! Um....you're...uh...wait wait...gee, I have no idea."   
  
"Cool staff! But you shoulda made it BIGGER and with one of those ball-things on top!"   
  
"(incomprehensible Japanese conversation) -san!"   
  
"Hey! YOU'RE not Lois!" (my boyfriend was dressed as Superman)   
  
"What ARE you?!"   
  
Well, it's not like I expected anyone to recognize me, I just wanted an excuse to borrow my sister's cosplay costume (hey, I helped make it). Plus I was too lazy to come up with a new costume specifically for Halloween....but when a Japanese family ran up and asked to take my picture, it was worth all the weird stares I got from just about every other person who walked past....fun fun.   
  
* * * * *   
  
Hey-ski Bud-skis!   
  
I was so happy to get so much feedback! (I didn't know what to expect, since I'm writing for an entirely new audience this time)   
  
I don't usually answer/comment on every review, but I will this time since it's the first batch, and I'm really excited about them all!   
  
**Flighting dreams**: Thank you for leaving such a helpful review! I agree with your comment on the writing style. It bothered me too, but I didn't notice until after I had posted it. My excuse is that the past three fics I wrote were all POV ones, and I was in the habit of everything consisting of dialogue and thoughts. I guess I'm rusty on writing in third person, and it will take me a little bit to get re-adjusted to it....Was this chapter a little better? Or do you think I still need to work on it some more....I'm not afraid of constructive criticism as long as it's actually *constructive* and not just comments like "Oh god, you suck" heh heh. Anyway, I agree that it's hard to imagine Chichiri getting that irritated. But....the image of Chichiri making Tasuki eat a stick was what started this whole thing. I really just couldn't resist...   
Anyway, I would like to point out that Chichiri wasn't exactly being malicious. They have no regular source of food, and Chichiri knew that fairly soon they were both gonna be reduced to eating things like that, merely to survive....And it's not like it tasted like a stick.....   
  
**Amaya-san**: Woah! Dude, calm down! Look at the summary and notice that I promised shonen-ai content....and that it's labeled 'romance/humor' and not 'drama/angst'. Of COURSE Chichiri's gonna save him! Anyway, thanks for such a nice review!   
  
**Ambika-san**: haha, yeah there's not nearly enough tas/chi out there (makes sad panda face). They are the only FY fics I actually read too....well, now that I've read almost every single one worth reading I guess I might stray and read some of the others....but they're just not as good, ya know? Anyway, I really love the 'Insight' story you're working on with Xellas.   
  
**Kitsuna-Ri**: Wow! I got a review from Tasuki! Hehe...Anyway, I must apologize to you, cause I've really enjoyed several of your fics, but didn't leave reviews because when I'm on my boyfriend's computer, it freezes when I try to hit the 'review' button. Really annoying...I'll have to remember to go back and find them when I'm on a different computer....   
  
**Xellas**: Hi again! Glad you don't think I'm stalking you....ha ha.   
As you can see, I wrote more of this story instead of answering your email....sorry!!! Really glad that you like how I write Tasuki and Chichiri and not just Weiß Kreuz. It's really different for me, and I wasn't sure I'd make the transition too well...Thanks!!   
  
**Riverwood**: *beams* I'm so glad you liked it! It really was about time for Chichiri to say 'crap no da' wasn't it?   
  
  
All right one last note...Um, Did I spell the name of the bandit mountain right (well other than the debate over whether it should be spelled with an 'R' or an 'L'. I swear, I skimmed through like twenty fics trying to find how to spell it, and not a single one I checked mentioned it. So I gave up because I was tired....Please let me know if I spelled it wrong, and I will spell it right from now on...   
  
  
  
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End file.
